BEEP BEEP BEEP. The loud annoying noise of my alarm clock jolts my body from its deep half drunken slumber to an all out dash to crush the button residing atop the noisy box. BEEP BEEP BEEP. The noise happens again; this time sluggishly I smash my lumbering hand down upon the box, catching a corner sending it scurrying to the end of its cord. Nine minutes later BEEP BEEP BEEP. This time in a rage I rip the cord from the wall and slowly return to my original resting place. I can’t get back to sleep, a pounding headache bangs the sides of my head to the same rhythmic beep my alarm clock had just minutes before. GOD DAMN I think. I roll out of bed, slip on my L.L.Bean moccasins, and meander towards the door. My vision is blurred and it is early, making every step difficult, for I haven’t cleaned my room and hoards of dirty laundry obstruct my path to the door. In a Heisman like leap I bound over the clean clothes basket, still yet to be put away, and land on last night’s freshest gear, a pair of roll down Timberland boots and a balled Jordan sweatshirt twisting my ankle and projecting me at my dresser. Somehow I catch myself mid flight and open my door to enter the rest of the house.
I cross the hall and slowly open the door creakily to the bathroom and slide in. The sink is dripping slowly making my headache so much worse. I shut it off and move on. I stagger my achy body infront of the toilet and aim, fire! Standing there like a firefighter infront of a blaze I paitently wait to be done. I stand there for what seems like 5 minutes, zip up and leave, all I can think about is food!
I turn left and walk down the stairs groggily, unknowing of the cans and red cups a strewn amongst the stairs and hallway I cut my pinky toe on the rim of an empty Budweiser can. Pissed off, bloody, tired, and hangover I continue to stroll down my stairs. Slowly I turn and see three of my cousins sprawled out sleeping on what use to be my couch. The backing of the couch is broken on the left side making the cousins warp at a very awkward angle. On the floor are many pillows from the couch and on top of each pillow is an unkempt ball of hair, attached to a very pale person. I look through the window and see uncle Jerry in a kiddy pool dead asleep. Awesome……
I walk up to my guests and gently kick each one of them in the side, watching them jolt from a slumber to an errect, groggy possition brings me a sort of awkward pleasure. Each of them reacting in their own personality, one angry, one complaining, one just rolls back over. Each person waking has the same exact thoughts as me, FOOD.
I have come to the conclusion that im not going to let any of my guests leave until every scrap of this mess is cleaned up. But first, breakfast! All I can think of is,
Milk and cereal (milk and cereal)
Milk and cereal (cereal and milk)
Milk and cereal (cereal, cereal)
Milk and cereal (cereal and milk)
Cereal and milk (x12)
Milk and Cereal.............. Milk and Cereal
(Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........)(x2)
I don't want my Wheaties, give ‘em to the needy
Feeelin' kinda greedy, I keep them for myself
I keep them for myself (x7)
No Grapenuts.........
For Grandma......... (Grandma eats a bran muffin)
Mom likes Special K.........
You can't pinch an inch
You can't pinch an inch (x5)
They're magically delicious............
Keep your hands off my Lucky Charms
(pink hearts, yellow moons, blue diamonds (blue diamonds), green clovers)
A is for Apple, J is for Jack
You step on a crack, and you'll break your Mama's back
Rice Krispies, Franken Berries
(Oooh, Boo Berries)
Milk and cereal (milk and cereal)
Milk and cereal (cereal and milk)
Milk and cereal (milk and cereal)
Milk and cereal (cereal and milk)
Milk and cereal (milk and cereal)
Milk and cereal (cereal and milk)
Milk and cereal (milk and cereal)
Milk and cereal (cereal and milk)
Milk and stereo (stereo, stereo)
Milk and Cereal (cereal and milk) (x5)
Milk and Cheerio-eo-eo-eo……… (Cheerio-eo-eo-eo-eo-eo............(x4))
In the morning at the table (milk and cereal milk and cereal)
Snap, crackle, pop
Snap, crackle, pop (x6)
(Pop……….)
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (x7)
Trix are for kids
Trix are for kids (x10)
In the morning.......
At your table......
Milk and Cereal........ (x2)
Cereal And Milk......
Milk and Cereal.......
Cereal And Milk......
In the morning.......
At your table......
Milk and Cereal........ (x2)
Cereal And Milk......
Milk and Cereal.......
Cereal And Milk......
No Grapenuts..............
For Grandma (Grandma eat a bran muffin)
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